第2章 PART 2

INT. HARDWARE STORE - CONTINUOUS Peggy and Mrs. Pressman enter, worried. MRS. PRESSMAN You tell Maggie. PEGGY No, you tell her. MRS. PRESSMAN No, no. Youre her best friend. PEGGY No. MRS. PRESSMAN (holding her newspaper) You know, its just possible that she hasnt read this yet.

PEGGY Yeah. MRS. PRESSMAN Maybe she hasnt read the paper... On the counter, they see a copy of USA Today opened to the article about Maggie. MRS. PRESSMAN (contd) ... Or not! We follow MAGGIE down the back stairs inside The Hale Hardware Store, the prettiest, most welcoming shop of its kind anywhere

in small town USA. Somehow the place ha taken on the spirit of the owners daughter; both stop and shop-girl radiate brightness, charm, and possibility. Maggie comes down steps with a faucet handle and goes to an elderly customer, MR. PAXTON. MAGGIE (bright) Here we go! One antique hot water

handle with the "HOT" still on it, guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast iron tub with a four-inch center made between 1924 and 1938. In other words, I think youre out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. MR. PAXTON (amazed) Hallelujah. MAGGIE Alright, Mr. Paxton, Ill put it on

your account. Maggie rounds the bend, another customer, EARL, stands by the paint machine. EARL Maggie. MAGGIE (walking past customer) You dont need an air conditioner, Earl, you just need an attic fan -- Theres more in the back. Maggie steps behind the front counter of the store and takes the

account book out. Her voice trails off as she sees the dour expression on the faces of her friends. MAGGIE (contd) What? Peggy nervously mentions the newspaper. PEGGY (delicate) So -- Mag -- youve seen this, huh? MAGGIE (serious) Yes, Ive seen it. And I have to say its the rudest and most offensive...

joke anybodys ever played on me! To their amazement, Maggie starts smiling. MAGGIE (contd) You guys! How long did this take you? Maggie stays amused. MAGGIE (contd) Whered you get this done? (laughing) You creeps! I should disinvite you! And why did you say seven times? This is four.

PEGGY Uh, Maggie, you told us to bachelorette jokes, so we didnt... Maggie looks at the stricken face of her friends. MRS. PRESSMAN Holy moly. Peggy looks like she is going to cry with sympathy for Maggie. Maggie is starting to feel uncomfortable. She looks down, dubiously, at the paper.

MAGGIE Um, you know, now would be a good moment to tell me this is fake. (no response) It wont be funny if you drag it out. Okay? (no response) Okay, well... I mean, I can find out... Real newspapers smear. Phoney papers dont. She picks up the paper and brushes it against her apron, leaving

an INK SMEAR!! She nearly kneels over. MAGGIE (contd) (sitting) Bag. Peggy and Mrs. Pressman immediately spring to her side. They give her a bag to breathe in. MRS. PRESSMAN Bag. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKOUT ROOM/GYM - NIGHT We see Maggie kickboxing in anger. The radio is on. She

suddenly stops, yanks Ikes article off the wall, leaves her workout area and goes to her desk. ANGLE ON DESK AREA: She turns off the radio and begins to type her letter. MAGGIE (VO) "Dear Editor..." EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT As Maggies VOICE-OVER continues to read her letter, we take in a Manhattan busy day. It is big, loud, and anonymous. MAGGIE (VO; contd) "Greeting from the sticks! Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact?" Te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging taxies. A WOMAN smacks him with a newspaper. He passes a WOMAN TRAFFIC OFFICER, then a hot dog stand. He greets and passes a FALAFEL VENDOR. THE CAMERA PANS to a USA Today Truck. MAGGIE (VO; contd) "I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking us slanderous statements about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. Which is understandable, because with a "man-eater" like me on the loose, who has time to check facts?" EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS He passes regular GUYS who cheer him. MAGGIE (VO; contd) "Still, we cannibalistic queens can get pretty cranky when we see things in print that hurt our feelings, like that we deliberately abandon fiances with malice aforethought." INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS He enters the newspaper building, going to Ellies office. INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - CONTINUOUS He walks through the crowded city room. His arrival attracts a lot of attention from his CO-WORKERS. Ike seems a little surprised, but hes pleased. MAGGIE (VO; contd) "Thats why I was surprised to find Mr. Grahams editor was a woman. Call me a sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped we man-eater could stick together." Ike works his way down the hall to the editors office. CHUFFA Ike greets various workers. He steps up to the editors secretary, ELAINE. She doesnt smile. IKE (to Elaine) Ill put in a good word for you. ELAINE No, no, dont mention my name in there. IKE Why? A buzz. ELAINE You can go in now. Ike goes into Ellies office. Elaine picks up her phone. CUT TO: INT. ELLIES OFFICE - CONTINUOUS ELLIE is that editor. Stylish and successful looking, shes about Ikes age. Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on her pretty face. Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits nonchalantly on the arm of the couch. Ike enters as Ellie reads Maggies letter. ELLIE (reading letter) "Anyway, Im just dropping you big city folk this little note to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite: Ike Grahams column on a platter. Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. PS -- I have inclosed a list of the gross factual misrepresentations in your article. There are fifteen." Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses. IKE (chuckles as he sits) Fully. I like her. She has wit. ELLIE I left four messages. You dont return my calls. IKE So? I never returned your calls, even when we were married. And whats Fisher doing here anyway? Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his way to the other side of the room. FISHER Ellie asked me to come down to offer moral support. IKE Since when does Ellie need moral supp-- ELLIE -- Its for you, Ike. IKE What? ELLIE Journalism lesson number one. If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. Ellie pushes USA Today lawyers letter across the desk for him to read. Ike picks it up and skims the letter. His face is as impassive as stone. IKE Lesson number two. Never work for your former spouse. ELLIE Thats not nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up and you know it. IKE I didnt cook up a story. I had a source. ELLIE Someone reliable, Im sure. A booze- hound in a bar? FISHER In vino veritas. IKE Dont knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk guys in bars are good. It means theyre not driving. Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point. IKE (contd) Besides, Im a columnist. This is what columnists are supposed to do. This is what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limo. Thats what makes me good! ELLIE No, thats what makes you unemployed. IKE I merely write the stuff. Youre the one that serves it up. Ike puts down the letter and puts his glasses back into his pocket. ELLIE Not anymore. I have to draw the line. (pushing a piece of paper) She sent us this list. Our lawyers say its actionable. Ellie hands Ike Maggies list. IKE (scoffs) Lawyers. (glances at list) I dont know, Ellie -- Firing me is going to be very tough on you. Its going to be hard to get over. There will be therapy bills for you. ELLIE (shrugs) I already made an appointment for later today. IKE (putting the list down, standing) See? You want custody of my job? ... Why not just consider my wrist slapped and call me when you feel Ive served my time? ELLIE Im sorry, Ike. This is permanent. Fisher winces and looks away. Ike and Ellie look at each other for a sober moment. ELLIE (VO; contd) If you go quietly, Ill get you severance pay. Ellie fidgets with her toy rake, then Ike heads for the door. He laughs a little at the painful truth of her words and walks out. Ellie collapses back in her chair. Fisher goes to her and rubs her shoulders.