第3章 PART 3

EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Ike rides sadly on the back of a forklift, gets off and walks out. EXT. HALE RESIDENTIAL STREET - ANOTHER MORNING ANGLE ON MAGGIES HOUSE: A train goes by. A modest clapboard house with a porch. Two entrances. A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto the lawn in front of

the house. The front door opens and Maggie appears fresh out of bed, wearing only a jacket and panties. Heedless of being seen this way, she scampers out to the sidewalk to pick up her delivered paper: USA Today. She tears off the plastic bag and rips into it, looking for her letter. She finds it. A smile on

her face, then she scampers back into the house. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - THAT MOMENT Maggie skips back into her house which she shares with Father and Grandma. A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on a shoe-string. She rushes into: KITCHEN WHERE BOB KELLY, fiance #4, is packing cans into a backpack. Bob, 38, has a

pleasant face and a body that is almost shockingly buff. Hes wearing a T-shirt that reads: "Mountaineers Do It Against the Wall.", Maggie dances over, waving the paper and singing. MAGGIE She canned him, she canned him... Bob test the weight of the backpack adding dehydrate food.

BOB Come here, Mag, and try this on. Maggie puts the paper on the kitchen counter and starts to read aloud, paying no mind to Bob, who is sticking her arms through the straps of the backpack. MAGGIE Listen: "Dear Ms. Carpenter, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter. Ike Grahams column will no

longer be appearing in this paper. Best of luck in you upcoming marriage!" Bob continues to hold up the weight of the backpack as he straps it onto Maggies shoulders. BOB That-a-girl! You sacked him. (checking pack) This is the weight of the pack youre going to have to carry in the Himalayas.

Tell me if its too heavy. Bob lets go and Maggie FALLS BACKWARD, disappearing behind the counter, and hitting the floor, with a THUD. Bob looks down at her. Maggies voice rises from the floor behind the counter. MAGGIE (os) Its a little... Its a little heavy... Help me, baby. Bob has no answer. He reaches a hand down. He yelps as Maggie

pulls him down on top of her, out of frame. We HEAR them giggle and kiss. INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - ANOTHER DAY Fisher uses the dock for a photo shoot featuring men and women in evening and formal wear from Escada for GQ Fisher is not actually shooting the camera, but rather supervising it.

Fisher claps his hands and calls the models to attention. Then he goes onto the stage and sets the models in their positions. FISHER (contd) Remember, we are putting the "fun" back into formal. (to Ike) I just say that for the agency guys. I dont even know what that means. Now

follow me. INT. USA TODAY OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Elevator doors open. Ike and Fisher exit and walk towards the coffee table. FISHER Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride piece, and since I do freelance stuff for GQ, Im in a different position now... IKE What are you trying to say to me, Fish?

They stop walking. FISHER Vindication. How would you like to get some? A chance to prove that, though your facts werent entirely straight, your theory was correct. IKE (hiding his hope) The real story on Miss Carpenter. FISHER All the gory details. They start walking again. IKE (excited) The anatomy of the black widow spider of Maryland. FISHER It wouldnt be a bad way to get you back into writing feature pieces again. IKE (enthusiastically) This is good. It is a good story, Fish. They stop at the coffee table and grab something to eat. FISHER (nods) If she runs, then its a cover story. All true. All accurate. IKE (confesses) Okay, you were right. I hated my column, but I can do this assignment. FISHER Then youve got it. If you leave tomorrow for the hinterlands, youll have plenty of time before her next wedding trot. IKE "Paid vindication" Thats what I call justice. FISHER Justice, yes. Paid, I dont know. They like the idea, but my hands are tied with budget restraints. IKE But Ill get my normal fee, right? He walks away. IKE You want me to do it on spec?! He follows him. CUT TO: EXT. MARYLAND HIGHWAY - DAY We see Ike driving down the highway. The car sputters a little as he and Fisher continue their conversation in voice-over. (If needed by the editor.) FISHER (VO) Dont say "spec" like its a dirty word. Nobody ever paid Shakespeare to write a play! Plato never got a book advance... IKE (VO) Oh yeah! I happen to know from reliable sources that Nietzche got expenses and a rental car. We hear Fisher laugh. IKE (VO; contd) Im going to make this work, Fish. Im going to do it! Ikes car drives into Hale, passing a billboard reading, "Welcome to Hale." CUT TO: EXT. HALE STREET - DAY Ike drives down picturesque Main Street. He passes Hale Hardware. Sign says: "At Curl. Be back soon." EXT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY A BARBERSHOP QUARTET is singing in front of the only hotel in town. Ike pulls up and goes inside. INT. LOBBY/ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY Ike has checked into the Atlantic Hotel. The clerk, LEE, hands him his key. Ike asks about room service and the restaurant. An OLDER WOMAN asks him if he plays bridge as he goes up the stairs to his room. EXT. HALE MAIN STREET - DAY Ike exits his hotel as the Barber Shop Quartet finishes singing "Camptown Races." He now walks down the charming main artery of the town, looking exactly like what he is: a cynical New York out of his element on sunny Main Street, USA. KIDS ride by on bikes, streaming balloons behind them. A balloon hits Ike on the face. As he crosses the street, he mutters into his tape recorder: IKE I think Im in Maryberry. Flags hang on all the storefronts and the place sparkles with wholesome attitudes as PEOPLE greet each other familiarly. Ike comes to beauty parlor called "Curl Up and Dye". The place is doing business and crowded with WOMEN. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY Cindy, the manicurist, does Mrs. Pressmans nails. Maggie sits on the floor next to Peggys salon chair, fixing the base of a barber chair. She tightens a screw and looks up, satisfied. Cindys dog is on the floor near Maggie. MAGGIE Cindy, you better 86 Sprout. He seems to be enjoying the petroleum distillates. Cindy rolls over in her chair, picks up her dog and rolls back to her station. CINDY Thats it. Back to obedience school. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Okay -- have a seat... gently, carefully. Peggy sits in the chair. Maggie spins her around and around. PEGGY (delighted as she spins) Youre a goddess! MAGGIE I didnt even need to change this gasket, just put in a little hydraulic fluid. PEGGY Stop it. When you talk like that, I get turned on and it frightens me. JUST THEN. Ike enters the salon, taking off his sunglasses. Peggy hops off the chair. IKE Hello. Im looking for Maggie Carpenter. There was a sign at the hardware store across the street... PEGGY Are you a reporter? Its a little early in the game for Ike to be thrown off guard. IKE (shocked) What? PEGGY (eyeing his loafers) Its been our experience that anyone with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being another big city reporter wanting to interview Maggie. IKE About her upcoming wedding and all. PEGGY No, about her getting that asshole from New York fired. Ike smiles down at his loafers and shrugs. IKE I am just such a reporter. And you are? PEGGY Peggy Phleming. Not the ice skater. Peggy steps aside. Ike moves toward Cindy and Mrs. Pressman. IKE And who are these lovely ladies? Te ladies shake his hand and introduce themselves. CINDY Cindy. Maggies unmarried cousin. MRS. PRESSMAN Mrs. Pressman. No relation. PEGGY And you are? IKE (turning toward her) Looking for Maggie. PEGGY Yep. Maggie -- Someone to see you. Maggie looks over from her sitting position on the floor. She gives Ike the once-over, focusing on the shoes. MAGGIE (yelling to Peggy) Reporter? PEGGY Yup! Ike crouches to see Maggie on the floor just as she rises to her feet. Ike straightens up. For a moment, he is thrown by her beauty and intelligent eyes. MAGGIE I hope you have a different angle. Its pretty much all been covered. IKE Originality is my speciality. MAGGIE Excellent. PEGGY Hold on -- Nobody interviews Maggie in here unless theyre getting haircut. MAGGIE Shes the boss. IKE Sorry, no. I just got one. MRS. PRESSMAN (to Ike) Excuse me, sir. I have an actual fact for you. IKE (steps to Mrs. Pressman) Yes, Mrs. Pressman. MRS. PRESSMAN Its her fourth time to the altar, you know. Not seven like they said. IKE I know. Tell me something. Do you think shes going to make it all the way this time? During the Ike/Mrs. Pressman exchange, Maggie looks at Ike. Theres something familiar about him. She looks over at Peggy and beckons her to a copy of Ikes column affixed to a mirror. A goatee and horns, have been scrawled on Ikes byline picture. Hes been "devilized". Peggy coughs as she recognizes Ike in the newspaper clipping. MAGGIE She swallowed her gun.