第5章 Chapter 28 The Same Day: My Good-looking Equerry

I was just going to ask another question when Morner came out of the house. He noticed the signs on my face, and the counts serious look. But he only said: "His royal highness invites you to come to the library." A surprise met my eyes there. A tall mirror from my bedroom was standing by the desk. In front of it, Jean was trying a new uniform. Its makers were on their knees beside him, and their mouths were full of pins. The Swedes were watching closely.

"Can you find a fault anywhere, Count von Essen?" Jean asked. Von Essen shook his head. Colonel Wrede pretended to find one, but no one else could see it. Then Fernand said firmly: "The uniform fits, Your Highness." And at last Jean noticed me. "The Swedish uniform," he said. "Do you like it?"

The coat was dark blue, with flashes of gold. Fortunately it hadnt the high collar that makes a marshals uniform so uncomfortable. I nodded. Yes. I liked it. "Im going to visit the Emperor tomorrow at eleven oclock. I want you and Oscar to go with me." At that moment Marie came in. She said that Julie had come again and was anxious to see me. So I left the library and went to the sitting room.

Julie was standing by the window. When I went in, she made a solemn curtsey. "Dont laugh at me, Julie," I said. "Being a crown princess isnt a joke." "Your royal Highness, Im not laughing," she replied. Her voice was solemn too. "Get up, then, and dont annoy me. Why should a queen curtsey to a crown princess?"

"Im a queen without a country, Desiree," she explained. "The Spanish people still refuse to accept Joseph and me. But the Swedish people have chosen you and Jean. An unreal queen must curtsey to a real crown princess." "How did you know about it? We ourselves only knew last night."

"All Paris is talking about it. I had lunch with Napoleon today and he talked about it a lot. He made stupid jokes. Bernadotte wont want to be a marshal any more, Napoleon said. He wont even want to be a Frenchman. Hell want to become Swedish instead. Of course, we all laughed at that idea."

I stared at her. "Your laughed? How could you? I want to cry when I think of it." "But darling, for Heavens sake, tell me. It isnt true, is it?" I didnt reply. "It doesnt seem possible," she said weakly. "Joseph is King of Spain, but he isnt Spanish. Louis is King of Holland; but he wouldnt thank you if you called him a Dutchman. And Jerome--- "

"Theres a difference," I interrupted. "Theres a difference between Bonaparte crowns and a real crown. Youve just said so yourself." Julie had to agree. Then she asked whether we were really going to live in Sweden. "Jean says so," I told her. Then I added quickly: "But I shant stay there unless Im wanted. My mother-in-law, the Queen, will hate me; and I shant have any friends there."

"Nonsense, my dear! Mothers-in-law only hate you when you take their sons from them. Jean isnt her son. Besides, Persson is in Stockholm. You can easily make him a duke. Then can always invite him to your palace." "You have a false idea of everything, Julie," I said. "Sweden isnt like France."

I was going to explain, but I had no chance. Julies thoughts had already wandered away from my troubles. "Listen, Desiree. Ive got some wonderful news. The Empress is going to have a baby! Napoleon is madly excited. His son is going to be called the King of Rome. It must be a son, of course. He has decided that. "

There was a polite knock on the door, and Fernand came in. "The Swedish gentlemen who are going to Stockholm would like to say goodbye," he said. I shook hands with Count von Essen, the proud servant of the Vasa kings. Colonel Wrede was with him, but Morner and Brahe were not. Morner was staying, as Jeans equerry. I knew that. But where was Brahe? Didnt he want to say goodbye? When the Swedes and Julie had gone, I went into the garden. Suddenly Brahe appeared beside me. "Arent you going back to Stockholm with the others?" I asked him. "I asked the Crown Prince to make me your own equerry. He kindly agreed. Im ready for duty, Your Highness." He stood there. Tall, good-looking, only nineteen years old; the son of one of Swedens noblest families. "I shall be proud to go with Your Highness to Stockholm," he added. I knew what he meant. No noblemen could be ashamed of their new princess while count Brahe was by her side. I smiled. "Thank you, count," I said. "But what work can I give you? Ive never had my own equerry before." "Your Highness will think of some jobs for me. Meanwhile I can play with Oscar--- I mean, with Prince Oscar." "If you promise not to break any more windows!" I laughed. Yes. Young Brahe will be a good companion for both Oscar and me. "Im beginning to feel less unhappy about the future."