第10章 Chapter 9 The Same Evening: …But someone Stopped M

I tried hard to free myself from that hand. I pulled and kicked and screamed. But a quiet voice was saying: "dont be afraid. Desiree. Come with me. Here is my carriage." He was much stronger than me.. He pushed me into the carriage. Then he said to the driver. "Go on. Theres no hurry now. Just drive till I tell you to stop."

I was cold and wet and afraid. I was crying. My body was shaking. But a big warm hand came towards me and held my hand. "I want to get out, please." I begged. "I want to get out!" The voice answered: "No, Mademoiselle desirre. You asked me to take you into Madame Talliens house. Now you must stay with me till we reach your home."

"Are you General Bernadotte? " I asked. "I hate generals. They have no hearts." "Some generals are different," he said. And he put his cloak round my shoulder. I remembered another went night, when another general had put his cloak around me. But now I was too tired to worry any more. He pulled me closer to him, and my head rested on his arm.

"I behaved very badly at Madame Talliens house," I said. "Please forgive me. But General Bonaparte had promised to marry me." Then I started to cry again. "Of course I forgive you," he answered. "Im very sorry for you. But Bonaparte wasnt going to marry you. He was going to marry a rich girl in Marseilles. Madame Tallien told me so. The rich girl could only offer him money. But Bonaparte wants power; and Barrass woman can help him to get it. You couldnt do that."

"How do you know?" I asked him. "Because youre a good little girl. You dont understand how great ladies behave. You arent like that fair-haired woman on the sofa, that Josephine. Youre honest and sweet. I like you, and --- " his voice suddenly changed. "--- and I want to marry you myself!"

"Youre as cruel as Napoleon," I said. "Im not going any further." And I shouted: "Driver! Stop!" But the general shouted even louder: "Drive on at once!" then he turned to me and said: "Please forgive me. Im not used to girls like you. Ive never asked anyone else to be my wife, and I really would like to marry you. Please listen, and dont cry."

His voice was so gentle that I had to listen. "My father was a poor man." He said. "I joined the army when I was only fifteen. I was an ordinary soldier then. After the revolution I become an officer. Now Im a general. But perhaps Im too old for you? Im thirty-one." "Im going to be sixteen soon," I answered. "But Im tired. I want to go home."

"Of course. I was forgiving that," he said kindly. "where do you live?" I gave him the address, and he told the driver. We werent far from the place. "Please think about it, Desirre. Ive always wanted a wife and a child. But a soldiers life hasnt given me the chance. I cant follow the usual customs before I ask you to marry me. I have to decide very quickly. And now Ive decided."

"Dear God!" I thought. "How difficult this man is! He really does want to marry me. What can I say?" We had reached the house. He opened the carriage door, and he helped me to get out. "Good night," I said. "and thank you for everything. Dont worry about me, I shant go back to the river."

"Youre a brave girl," he replied. "When may I come and hear your answer? The day after tomorrow?" I shook my head. "Its not possible, general. Really it isnt. Surely you can see the reason? Im not too young for you, but Im much too small." I rushed into the house and shut the door behind me. But I couldnt sleep. I shall never sleep again. So Im sitting at the kitchen table and Im writing my diary. The day after tomorrow this man Bernadotte will come. I dont know where I shall be. But I shant be here.