第5章 PART 5

INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike copies him. WALTER (contd) Emma and I were only blessed with one child, not for lacking of trying. MAGGIE This is good, Dad, dont leave anything

out. Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up. WALTER So Ive come to see it as a bonus, really, that weve been able to plan, and pay for, so many weddings. MAGGIE Not this one. This ones on me. Walter reacts. IKE Thats fair. MAGGIE Despite what you think, I dont do it

on purpose. And I have no intention of doing it again. BOB Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. Ike raises his eyebrows in question. Bob explains. BOB (contd) Sports psychology. It was my major in college. IKE Ahh. BOB (false modesty) Im the towns unofficial fitness

trainer. Big advocate of the mind and body combining for success. You could say or you can quote me, Im a glass half full king of guy. MAGGIE (boasting) Bobs the head of the PE department at the high school. And he coaches the football team. And hes climbed Everest. To Maggies satisfaction, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging

respect. Nobody whos been up Everest is a total clown. IKE (impressed) Everest. Is that right? MAGGIE Twice... IKE Really? MAGGIE (sticking it to Ike) Without oxygen... BOB My girl likes to brag about me. Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds. BOB (contd) Im taking her trekking on Annapurna on

our honeymoon. Ike is highly amused. IKE How romantic. MAGGIE (sharply) We think so. IKE Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back. CUT TO: INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC)

INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION Fisher and Ellie are exercising. Fisher is on a cycle machine. Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits back on the couch, puts on his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing on the TV screen. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding."

IKE (to Fisher; into phone) You wont believe what Im looking at, Fisher. A videotape of all three train wrecks. THE TV - CLOSE Two flower girls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar. Now we see Maggie come down the aisle, then walk past the altar.

We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church. SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this first wedding. She drags the train boy up the second aisle as she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and then sits back down to watch. The tape fast-forwards to the next wedding. Now Ike is looking

at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says, "Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button (sometimes slowing down). ON TV: We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells Angels-types, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band

platform against the back fence. Gill is waiting on the platform with a rock combo playing Grateful Dead-type music. He makes an introductory speech. Maggie steps out onto the back porch. Shes beautiful in a hippie-type wedding ensemble. She walks with her father to a trampoline. We can see her tattoo. She jumps on the trampoline, then dives into the crowd. They watch her and body surf her over their heads to the back fence. As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides to go. She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on a dirt bike. She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides away. During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gill Chavez". Maggie goes off on dirt bike. The tape fast-forwards to the last of Maggies fiascoes. ON IKESTV He now sees the third wedding. Its outdoors, in a tree lined area, MUSICIANS plays. Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress, wearing a crown of flowers. The Maid Marian look. Ike slows the tape. ON TV: IT SAYS, "GEORGE SWILLING WEDDING". As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies! Maggie has kicked it in the shins. It rears and bolts, galloping off with the bride. Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an image of Maggie, hair blowing. Although she is panic-stricken, her soul seems to shine through in tat single frame. As Ike stares at her, the smirk fades from his face. He just looks at her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes. He cant help it. She gets to him. Ike gets a restless look on his face. He stares closely. The groom is George from the bar. IKE Kamikaze! CUT TO: EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE NEXT DAY Establishing. High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale. Ike exits a neighboring shop and walks down the block. He pauses in front of the bakery to take a look at Maggies truck. As he does, a middle-aged Black WOMAN walks by and whacks him with a newspaper. Ike is stunned as she walks off. He turns to a MAN sitting on a bench. IKE Did you see that? CUT TO: INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON a group of plastic grooms and brides on a counter top. MRS. TROUT is behind the counter helping Maggie with a selection of grooms for her wedding cake. The groom figures are spread out on the counter. All sizes and colors, some attached to brides, some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets. MRS. TROUT This ones very popular, but oh, youve used this one before... Brian. But I like the white dinner jacket. MAGGIE No, hes no good. Too blond. MRS. TROUT (picks up another) Well go with total traditional. MAGGIE Too dark. Then, Ike comes up behind her as she discards another groom. IKE But hes got the Bobsters eyes. Maggie cringes at the sound of Ikes voice. IKE (contd) No -- the Bobsters eyes are closer set. She ignores him and continues her search. IKE (contd) (to Mrs. Trout) Could I have two coffees, please? And what is that wonderful smell? (seeing the cinnamon rolls) Ill have two of those delicious looking cinnamon rolls. MRS. TROUT Sure. (picking up a miniature bride) Here, Maggie. I think this makes the best you. Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order. Ike moves to the other side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure. IKE Lets see... Excuse me, isnt that cute? Ahh... He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in the head and run away screaming. IKE (contd) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me! Help me! Yup! Thats her all right. Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing. Maggie takes the bride from Ike coldly. MRS. TROUT You must be that Mr. Graham fellow. Ike turns and goes to her. IKE Yes, I am. And who are you? MRS. TROUT Betty Trout. Five dollars. IKE (as he pays) Oh, Betty. I take it youre going to be making the wedding cake and they say youre throwing -- MRS. TROUT (interrupting) -- The luau for Maggie. She starts picking lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff. MAGGIE (all smiles for Mrs. Trout) Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I cant wait to show it to you. IKE (cynical delight) A pre-wedding luau? MRS. TROUT Yes. My husband and I love luaus. Itll be fun. Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ikes bag containing two coffees. IKE Fun? Fun isnt the word. Mrs. Trout beams. Maggie understands his answer a little better. Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays. MRS. TROUT If youre still in town, you should stop by. MAGGIE No, Im sure he doesnt. IKE (to Mrs. Trout) Actually, I would love to come. (taps her service bell) Thank you. Thank you so much. Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices. MAGGIE (exasperated) Is that what youre going to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and heads for the door. IKE No. He starts to leave with his bag. Mrs. Trout stops him. MRS. TROUT (handing him the other bag) Your two cinnamon rolls. IKE Bye, Betty. Thanks. He leaves. MAGGIE Hes not a nice person. Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom figures. Maggie looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous. She dashes out. Mrs. Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing. CUT TO: